• Dramatic Nonsense,  Just Jana

    This Week In Numbers: The Medical Mystery Tour

    5 – number of days this week Henry or I have seen a doctor 6 – number of waiting rooms I’ve waited in since Monday morning. Add the one on Friday and you get 7. 13 – number of days I’ve now been dealing with a rash of unknown origin or diagnosis. 5 – number of different diagnoses for the rash on my body. It’s been shingles, staph, a bug bite, a fungus, contact dermatitis… 7 – number of shots Henry had to drain what looked like aliens out of an infected boil 365,397 – times I wanted to die on Wednesday 28,967 – times I wet my pants while…

  • Dramatic Nonsense,  Henryisms

    In Honor Of My 700th Post…

    To celebrate 700 posts (YES! This one is numero 700!), I decided to install a scratch & sniff plugin* to my site so you could experience what I’ve experienced today. So on a scale of 1 to 100, what does this smell like to you? I’ll give you a hint: The number is in the title. THAT is how bad it smells. But my boy is home and exhausted and clean and full of bruises and chigger bites and scrapes and amazing memories! * If you really did sniff your screen, bless your heart.

  • Dramatic Nonsense,  Life as an Anthoine

    Just Write: The Dust Settles

    It’s been a whirlwind. All at once, all the things had to be done. Last day of work. First day of work. Moving out. Moving in. Taking the kid to Florida. Picking the kid up from Fort Valley. Everything happened all at once. It wasn’t planned like that — it is what it is. The dust is settling. We’re settling in the new house, making sure to take a minute to look out back at the calm body of water that’s feet from our back door. I’m settling in with my new job. I’ve been going into the office every day, but hope to get into the groove of working…

  • Dramatic Nonsense,  Just Jana,  Mental Health,  Writer

    Drowning

    Have you ever felt like you were drowning? It’s my worst fear. I would rather die in fire or from falling out of a plane that to drown. Maybe it’s because I don’t like to swim, or because I’m a Sagittarius. It’s probably because I can’t hold my breath very long and was always the first one up during Country Club Pool hold-your-breath contests. Last night I dreamed about drowning in the Country Club Pool. I’m pretty sure it’s because after a week of feeling like drowning, I was granted permission to “GO GENTLY WITH YOU.” (thank you, Ann) Work is crazy. I mean, it’s Spring and I work at…

  • Charlie,  Dramatic Nonsense,  Group B Strep

    Enough is Enough

    Seriously. I’m tired of it. Enough is enough. Babies have to stop dying. Parents need to stop having to choose tiny caskets that can be picked up by one person. Have you ever seen one? Just the casket itself will give you nightmares. I’m pissed. I can’t believe it’s 2014 and there are still as many people burying their babies as there are. I know, if we were in the 1800’s or even 50 years ago, it would be more. But damn. It’s not fair. Yeah, something good will come from it. A lot of people do great things in the wake of devastating and bring-you-to-your-knees situations, but WHY DO…

  • Dramatic Nonsense,  Henryisms,  Life as an Anthoine,  School Days,  Writer

    The Ace Bandage Incident

    I got a call from school the other day. Monday, in fact, after I’d been gone all the previous week and NEEDED to be at work for at least 16 hours that day. The nurse started out by saying, “It’s not an emergency” as usual. But then went on to tell me that this was the second time he had been to her office complaining about his knee hurting. Now he was dragging it. I should probably come and take him to the doctor. She put him on the phone and he sounded pitiful. “Mom, I didn’t tell you, but I hurt it on Saturday. It didn’t hurt too bad…

  • Dramatic Nonsense,  Just Jana

    The Anatomy of A Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Run

    pushes Garmin button. 3-2-1-run. Ugh. This is no good. Get yourself in the right headspace, Jana.  That’s better. This will be an easy 5-7 miles. Maybe I’ll do 8. Or maybe just 5. We’ll see.  Mile 1. Please let my joints loosen up. Did I remember my meds? I know I took them.  Mile 2. Did I really take my meds? Why do I feel like I forgot how to run? My legs aren’t working right. One of my legs feels longer than the other.  Mile 3.  Do I look like I’m shuffling? Because I feel like I’m shuffling.  Or maybe I’m limping. Why am I limping.  Mile 4. This…

  • Dramatic Nonsense,  Life as an Anthoine,  Writer

    When Self-Care Looks Feels Like Failing

    Last night I ordered a Honey Baked Ham. And Honey Baked Ham brand smoked turkey. I have failed at Thanksgiving.  For the first time since Jason and I got married in 1998, I will not be making the turkey. I don’t normally make the ham, seeing that I don’t eat either of them, but I always make the turkey. Even if we have Thanksgiving somewhere else, I ALWAYS prepare a turkey for us to have at home for the weekend. I feel like an utter failure for forking out nearly $100 for some chain to produce my meat products (that I won’t even eat) for our favorite holiday of all…

  • Dramatic Nonsense,  Just Jana,  Mental Health,  Writer

    Just Write: I’m Just Writing

    This morning I forgot to take my medicines. Well, that’s not entirely true. I took one thyroid medicine. And then I looked at my pill case and thought to myself, “Self, don’t forget to take these before you leave this bathroom.” Surprise! “Self” as we’ll call her, forgot. “Self” got about 3 minutes from work and went, “Oh crap! Self, you forgot your meds! This isn’t going to end well.” And let me tell you. About 5 hours later, I felt like I was in a haze of hot, purple, smoky air with somebody pushing me a little to my right every time I stood up. All that is probably…

  • Dramatic Nonsense,  This is Fantastic!,  Writer

    I Mean, Why Bother?

    Something as simple as laundry has to be so freaking complicated, doesn’t it? The first thing I always hear after a load is done with new clothes in it is, “Why did you shrink this?” I didn’t shrink it. If something that’s already been “pre-shrunk” (pre-shrunk, my ass) can’t be washed in cold water with cold rinse and dried on low (i.e.: you have to dry it 5 times before it’s actually dry), then how is it my fault? Why can’t I take it back to the store and say, “hey, this shirt freaking shrunk and it’s already been pre-shrunk. I want my money back.” At least, couldn’t they put…