• Dramatic Nonsense,  Life as an Anthoine,  Writer

    When Self-Care Looks Feels Like Failing

    Last night I ordered a Honey Baked Ham. And Honey Baked Ham brand smoked turkey. I have failed at Thanksgiving.  For the first time since Jason and I got married in 1998, I will not be making the turkey. I don’t normally make the ham, seeing that I don’t eat either of them, but I always make the turkey. Even if we have Thanksgiving somewhere else, I ALWAYS prepare a turkey for us to have at home for the weekend. I feel like an utter failure for forking out nearly $100 for some chain to produce my meat products (that I won’t even eat) for our favorite holiday of all…

  • Dramatic Nonsense,  Just Jana,  Mental Health,  Writer

    Just Write: I’m Just Writing

    This morning I forgot to take my medicines. Well, that’s not entirely true. I took one thyroid medicine. And then I looked at my pill case and thought to myself, “Self, don’t forget to take these before you leave this bathroom.” Surprise! “Self” as we’ll call her, forgot. “Self” got about 3 minutes from work and went, “Oh crap! Self, you forgot your meds! This isn’t going to end well.” And let me tell you. About 5 hours later, I felt like I was in a haze of hot, purple, smoky air with somebody pushing me a little to my right every time I stood up. All that is probably…

  • My Family,  Sad Stuff,  Writer

    It Was A Good Day

    Today, my family said final goodbyes to my Grannie, or Mollie as her parents named her.  A longtime family friend spoke at her funeral. He promised her that he would and he makes good on his promises. Sunday, I sat down and just wrote. I poured out my words onto my computer and decided when I hit save, that I wanted to read this at her service.  When Mr. Bruce Goddard was talking to us about the service, I told him I wanted to speak. He thought it was a good idea so we set it in stone. My only real anxiety was knowing that he was going to introduce…

  • My Family,  Sad Stuff,  Writer

    The In Between

    Right now, I’m sitting in the most wonderful place. This place may feel sad for some. It may make some angry. For others, like me, it’s incredibly peaceful and awe-inspiring. I’m sitting in a room with my Grannie, listening to labored breathing, holding feverish hands, waiting for her last breaths to be taken. I don’t want her to go. None of us do. We selfishly want to keep her here with us forever. But it’s her time. The stroke she had a few weeks ago was more than her little body could handle. Hospice is a beautiful place. Sitting in this room makes me realize, though, that there is a…

  • Dramatic Nonsense,  This is Fantastic!,  Writer

    I Mean, Why Bother?

    Something as simple as laundry has to be so freaking complicated, doesn’t it? The first thing I always hear after a load is done with new clothes in it is, “Why did you shrink this?” I didn’t shrink it. If something that’s already been “pre-shrunk” (pre-shrunk, my ass) can’t be washed in cold water with cold rinse and dried on low (i.e.: you have to dry it 5 times before it’s actually dry), then how is it my fault? Why can’t I take it back to the store and say, “hey, this shirt freaking shrunk and it’s already been pre-shrunk. I want my money back.” At least, couldn’t they put…

  • Fun Memories,  Henryisms,  School Days,  Writer

    It was all fine and dandy…

    The morning was great. He got up, got dressed, and even brushed his teeth without my having to ask. The excitement and anxiety was getting the best of him so breakfast was a bust. He decided on some yogurt and water. That’s fine. That’s what I would choose, too. He moseyed into school, tall and confident, saying hi to everyone he passed. That’s my little social butterfly (read: class clown) who never meets a stranger, but if he does, he turns them into a friend. With a quick wave goodbye, he was off to start third grade. THIRD GRADE? Stop it! If only I could stop time. Or at least…

  • Henryisms,  Just Jana,  The Struggle Bus,  Writer

    Mom Guilt

    But mom, I want to sleep late and stay home and play with my toys. Can’t you take the summer off? You used to be home all the time. Can we just move back to Fort Valley? It smelled better than Atlanta and you didn’t have to go to work. And I want my chickens back. Working Mom Guilt. I have it. Almost a year ago, when I started back to work for the first time in a very long time, Henry and I started on the same day. Summer was over and nothing was really different except he got to ride a bus from school and hang out with…

  • Henryisms,  Writer

    Henry Takes The Wheel

    Today is Mother’s Day. Obviously. Henry has been asking for a blog for a while now, and he will be getting one in a few weeks. But today I invited him to be a guest writer here on my site. I wrote this intro and passed it on to him and Jason to handle. I figured since it wasn’t my favorite day in the world, I could at least make it funny and look at it from a different angle. Here’s Henry to take the wheel. **************************** my mom is nice, funny,and fun.one time me and mom went to NYC and went to the zoo then went to the LEGO…

  • Dramatic Nonsense,  Just Jana,  Writer

    Emergency on the Race Course

    It was about mile 6 when I really had to go. The thought of stopping my clock and going into a port-a-potty on the side of Highland Avenue wasn’t my idea of a good time, but you know what they say? When you gotta go, you gotta go. And really, I HAD TO GO! Easy enough, huh? I walked right in, there was no line like at miles 2 and 4. Did my thing. Used the hand sanitizer. Opened the door. Opened the door. Opened the… OH MY GOD, THE DOOR WON’T OPEN! OH MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED? OH MY GOD, THE LATCH ON THE OUTSIDE IS LOCKED. WHOOOOOO LOCKED…

  • Fun Memories,  Just Jana,  This is Fantastic!,  Word of the Year,  Writer

    The Key To Grace

    The other day, I stopped at the mailbox to grab the mail. That’s a task I dread most days. It’s never anything fun. Bills, sale flyers, notices that are for people who may or may not have lived here previously (there are like 12 different names on mail that comes here — strange). There was an envelope in there with an unfamiliar handwriting. It was “bulky.” I opened it and was left breathless. This is a Giving Key. If you’re unfamiliar with The Giving Keys, take a minute and head to their site. It’s an amazing story of how a musician simply made a few keys with words of encouragement…