Seventeen years ago, on September 26, 1998, standing on a St. Augustine lawn at The King and Prince Resort, two people agreed to love, honor, and cherish each other til death do them part. It was out of a fairy tale, if you had a fairy tale with leftover tropical storm winds, fresh and soggy sod down the aisle, and humidity that made the cake (that was inside) start melting and toppling over.
The night was beautiful. Planned around football schedules, everyone who was able to attend did. We even had a few wedding crashers! My dad’s band played as long as the hotel would let them and the next morning, from the “round room” we watched the sun rise over the ocean as Mr. and Mrs. Anthoine. It was perfection.
Over the years, life happened. Loss happened. Life kept happening, good and bad.
Laughter filled rooms that were later filled with tears.
Events were celebrated in high style and others were marked simply with grace and honor.
Life changed us. For better and for worse.
We lost our way, and in it, our passion for one another.
Today marks our last anniversary.
September 26, 2015.
We’re technically still married, though divorce papers are filed and waiting for a FINAL stamp that will replace “til death do us part” with “til the judge says we’re no longer married.”
We stood before God and everybody seventeen years ago and took vows we thought we would never break. In fact, we sat in the “oh shit” room in a hospital and swore we would never “be a statistic.” But here we are. Now we have new vows to carry us through the future.
We vow to love each other in the way only parents who share the loss of a child can.
We vow to respect each other in the way only parents who have the same hopes and dreams for their son can.
We vow to co-parent with grace and dignity and promise to never speak ill of the other in front of Henry.
We vow to help each other in a time of need.
We vow to find happiness that was lost between us. It’s out there for both of us to find.
We vow to remember the 6210 days between our wedding day and today as they were, not with regret.
We vow to love, honor, and cherish Henry and the memory of Charlie til death do us part.
Happy seventeenth anniversary, Jason! Here’s to whatever’s next for both of us!
48 Comments
Laurie
Beautiful.
Jana A
Thank you.
Laurie
Beautiful.
Jana A
Thank you.
Desiree Miller (@DesireeMiller)
You, my friend, are the definition of grace. I’ve been there and know how hard it is to go through these hard days and hold on to a friendship, but it’s so important, not just for your child, but for you and for him. It’s so much better to be able to still talk to each other when you need someone who has been through so much with you. We now celebrate our ‘noniversary’ with just a tinge of sarcasm. Love you!
Jana A
It’s really the most important thing for us. We’re better friends now than we have been in years, and have already been through a few (non-us) hurts and hurdles together. We’ll be celebrating our Noniversary for years, I’m sure. Just because we’re funny like that 🙂
Desiree Miller (@DesireeMiller)
You, my friend, are the definition of grace. I’ve been there and know how hard it is to go through these hard days and hold on to a friendship, but it’s so important, not just for your child, but for you and for him. It’s so much better to be able to still talk to each other when you need someone who has been through so much with you. We now celebrate our ‘noniversary’ with just a tinge of sarcasm. Love you!
Jana A
It’s really the most important thing for us. We’re better friends now than we have been in years, and have already been through a few (non-us) hurts and hurdles together. We’ll be celebrating our Noniversary for years, I’m sure. Just because we’re funny like that 🙂
Linda Sheridan
God and Goddess speed to all of you
Everything happens for a reason
In each of our lifetimes to perfect our souls.
Love and lights and Angels always
Jana A
Thank you so much.
Linda Sheridan
God and Goddess speed to all of you
Everything happens for a reason
In each of our lifetimes to perfect our souls.
Love and lights and Angels always
Jana A
Thank you so much.
Ewokmama
So, so beautiful, Jana.
Jana A
Thank you, C.
Ewokmama
So, so beautiful, Jana.
Jana A
Thank you, C.
Robin @ Farewell Stranger
This is beautiful and grown-up and hopeful. Wishing you all those things you vowed to create.
Jana A
Thank you, Robin.
Robin @ Farewell Stranger
This is beautiful and grown-up and hopeful. Wishing you all those things you vowed to create.
Jana A
Thank you, Robin.
Selfish Mom
I admire your grace in what must be a heartbreaking and difficult situation.
Wow, that sounds like something from the really sad section of a greeting card rack.
This sucks, and I wish you nothing but the best as you figure out your new path.
Jana A
Well, at least you know if the blogging thing doesn’t work out, you can write for the “really sad section” of the greeting card company 🙂 Thanks.
Selfish Mom
I admire your grace in what must be a heartbreaking and difficult situation.
Wow, that sounds like something from the really sad section of a greeting card rack.
This sucks, and I wish you nothing but the best as you figure out your new path.
Jana A
Well, at least you know if the blogging thing doesn’t work out, you can write for the “really sad section” of the greeting card company 🙂 Thanks.
Angie
Same goes.
Jana A
samosas. happy noniversary to you too.
Angie
Same goes.
Jana A
samosas. happy noniversary to you too.
Elan Morgan
Such clear sight.
Jana A
Thank you. I feel very clear and sure about all of this. It’s a nice thing.
Elan Morgan
Such clear sight.
Jana A
Thank you. I feel very clear and sure about all of this. It’s a nice thing.
Allie
Oh my God Jana, I literally got chills reading this. I wish more people could act with the grace and dignity that you and you (ex)husband have. Oh, I’m sad.
Jana A
Thank you, Allie. Don’t be sad 🙁
Allie
Oh my God Jana, I literally got chills reading this. I wish more people could act with the grace and dignity that you and you (ex)husband have. Oh, I’m sad.
Jana A
Thank you, Allie. Don’t be sad 🙁
Kir
Oh sweet Jana, my heart is aching and then FULL for you. There is love, dignity and hope in all your words.
Wishing you the happiness you richly deserve. I’m so glad I might be here to witness it, the blooming of YOU.
xo
Jana A
Thank you, Kir. I’m looking forward to the blooming of ME too! Here’s to it!
Kir
Oh sweet Jana, my heart is aching and then FULL for you. There is love, dignity and hope in all your words.
Wishing you the happiness you richly deserve. I’m so glad I might be here to witness it, the blooming of YOU.
xo
Jana A
Thank you, Kir. I’m looking forward to the blooming of ME too! Here’s to it!
sisters from another mister
What a lovely way to honor the life you shared, and committing to the future for your child as remaining both friends and family – is a gift xxxx
Jana A
Thank you, dear. xoxo
sisters from another mister
What a lovely way to honor the life you shared, and committing to the future for your child as remaining both friends and family – is a gift xxxx
Jana A
Thank you, dear. xoxo
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Allison B
Beautiful post. I pray that you will be able to fulfill those vows. My parents are divorced and they managed to love each other and us kids enough to be kind to one another. It was a wonderful example of grace for me.
Allison B
Beautiful post. I pray that you will be able to fulfill those vows. My parents are divorced and they managed to love each other and us kids enough to be kind to one another. It was a wonderful example of grace for me.