• Charlie,  Group B Strep,  Sad Stuff,  Writer

    Thirteen. 13. A Teen.

    Thirteen. It feels as awkward rolling off my tongue as it actually is to be thirteen. It’s hard to fathom, really, the possibility of Charlie being here and being thirteen. Waking up with scruffy hair on his head and a hint of facial hair. He would surely talk back to me with a cracking voice and when he might smile, the little boy in him would likely peek through every so often. He would have an attitude like he’s either king of the world or the most sullen teen who ever lived. Lived. If only he’d lived. Damn, there are so many things I would have — WE would have — done. All…

  • My Family,  Rock n Roll Lifestyle

    The First Thing I Ever Was…

    The first thing I ever was, was a groupie. Yes, I was born with groupie blood running through my veins. Seriously. It’s a thing. The Beginning. My Dad has been in a rock ‘n roll band since I was born. Well, since 1964… way before I was born actually. For his 17th birthday, he was gifted a 1964 Fender Stratocaster. It was shiny and pristine and brand spanking new. He basically taught himself to play and well, the rest is history. He started playing lead guitar with The Velvetones and then moved to The Malibu’s (punctuation error on purpose) and later, The Sixpence. This group of guys played together through…

  • Word of the Year

    2016: Filling My Life With Passion

    Passion: noun – a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something Passion. It’s been right there, right under the surface, tickling my skin to get out. It’s been on the horizon, waiting, lurking, stalking me until I couldn’t ignore it anymore. The word has been taunting me for weeks. I’ve made lists of options for this year’s word that will, hopefully, guide me through the 366 days of 2016. None of the words stuck out like passion. They just didn’t grab me by the arm and run through a field of poppies with me like PASSION did. It basically chose itself. But if I had to guess,…

  • Disney Running and Travel,  Fun Memories,  Just Jana

    2015: The Gloriously Weird Year of Finding Myself, Divorcing, and Turning 40

    What a weird year this has been. I mean, I knew it was weird, but then looking back through my photos and calendar… wow. It’s been a doozy. I’ve been rather quiet here over the course of 2015, my words few and far between. Much has gone on that hasn’t been for public consumption. My (now) ex-husband and I have never made our private matters public, especially in this space, so starting now would have been odd. When we decided very early this year to separate, that things weren’t ok, my words left me. My mind was on overdrive and well, elsewhere. The year started very restlessly. I was restless and…

  • Henryisms,  Ho-Ho-Holidays,  Life as a Lawrence

    Holly Jolly New Traditions

    Life is different this Christmas. Henry and I decided it would be fun to start some holly jolly new traditions for the two of us as far as decorating for Christmas goes. It’s always been a big evening for us as a family and we want to keep it as an important part of our year, but do things in a new way! I mean, change is fun, huh? After school on Friday, we headed to the Walmart in Dunwoody to take part in Clark’s Christmas Kids. If you’re not familiar, every Christmas, Clark Howard and News/Talk WSB join with the Georgia Department of Family and Children’s Services to provide…

  • Life as an Anthoine,  Sad Stuff,  Writer

    One Last Anniversary

    Seventeen years ago, on September 26, 1998, standing on a St. Augustine lawn at The King and Prince Resort, two people agreed to love, honor, and cherish each other til death do them part. It was out of a fairy tale, if you had a fairy tale with leftover tropical storm winds, fresh and soggy sod down the aisle, and humidity that made the cake (that was inside) start melting and toppling over. The night was beautiful. Planned around football schedules, everyone who was able to attend did. We even had a few wedding crashers! My dad’s band played as long as the hotel would let them and the next…

  • Life as an Anthoine,  Sad Stuff,  Writer

    Apart. Part 2.

    A few months ago, I wrote about Jason and I deciding to separate. It wasn’t an easy decision or one that was come to quickly. Much thought was put into it and much care was taken to do it the best way possible for both of us and especially for Henry. It has worked very nicely. The boys took a vacation. Henry and I spent lots of time together. We all three did a few things together. Pretty sure we even laughed, cried, and got a little pissed off at some point. But after a summer living apart, we’ve decided we like “us” this way. Apart. So apart we will stay. (yes,…

  • Charlie,  Group B Strep,  Writer

    Twelve. 12. XII.

    It’s been a dozen years since you stubbornly and dramatically took your first breath. Counting that many years without you is more than I can fathom, really. If someone asked me right now, I would say that it felt like just yesterday they placed you in my arms, all pink and mad. But if another person came up right behind them, I may say I could barely remember the smell of your skin or how your lip curled just a little at the corner. While there’s not a day that goes by when I don’t think about you, there are long stretches of hours when the hole in my heart feels plugged up and…

  • Life as an Anthoine,  Sad Stuff,  Writer

    Apart.

    Apart. It’s an adverb, used with verbs like drift, grow, or live. It describes how our hearts have grown over the years. Apart. Our love has drifted and now we have chosen to live that way. Apart. It wasn’t a split second decision. And the details aren’t important. Apart, for now, is how we will be. Will it be permanent? We don’t know. But for now it’s where we find ourselves. We’ve grown to this place and hope that in the apartness, we can both drift towards our individual happiness or newfound togetherness.

  • Charlie,  Disney Running and Travel,  Just Jana,  Team RMHC

    Goals. And Reaching Them.

    It’s not a secret, if you’ve been around here for a bit, that I have a love/hate relationship with running. I had never been a runner until one random morning in June 2012 when I decided, “Hey, I should run.” Yes, just like Forrest Gump. Short version of the story: I started Couch to 5k and a few days later was talked into signing up for the Princess Half Marathon, which would be run a short 8 months after I got my ass off my couch. It was with the team from the Ronald McDonald House in Macon. I’ve been a part of the RMHC in Macon since before it…