It’s been a dozen years since you stubbornly and dramatically took your first breath.
Counting that many years without you is more than I can fathom, really.
If someone asked me right now, I would say that it felt like just yesterday they placed you in my arms, all pink and mad.
But if another person came up right behind them, I may say I could barely remember the smell of your skin or how your lip curled just a little at the corner.
While there’s not a day that goes by when I don’t think about you, there are long stretches of hours when the hole in my heart feels plugged up and dare I say, whole. And then, maybe it’s a glance at the clock at 9:19 or a giraffe figurine in a window, memories come back. I know sometimes it’s you nudging me to remember, to think, to take a minute and thank you for going through life with me.
I’m thankful you were born, Charlie.
Without you, I wouldn’t be who I am today. That sounds strange, doesn’t it? I mean, obviously I’d rather you be here, but there were clearly much bigger plans for you. You were never supposed to stay.
Do you know how many people your story, as tragic as it was, has helped? A lot.
And do you know how many people I talk to who are grieving the loss of their child who just want to know from someone who has been there, that one day it’ll be ok? A lot.
You sitting on my shoulder, walking life with me, helps me help them. They’re my friends now, just like their babies are playing with you up there. (Make sure you share your cake with them today.)
So instead of finishing the 5th grade this week and headed to middle school, you’re saving babies’ lives and helping me give grieving parents or scared soon-to-be parents hope.
51 Comments
Vikki
Sending love to you.
Jana A
Thank you, Vikki.
Vikki
Sending love to you.
Jana A
Thank you, Vikki.
Kristina
All the love in the world to you. xoxo
Jana A
Thank you <3
Kristina
All the love in the world to you. xoxo
Jana A
Thank you <3
Lauren Hale
Sending you hugs and love today.
Jana A
Thank you, Lauren.
Lauren Hale
Sending you hugs and love today.
Jana A
Thank you, Lauren.
Melisa
Sending you all my love today, friend. xoxo
Jana A
Thank you, sweet Melisa <3
Melisa
Sending you all my love today, friend. xoxo
Jana A
Thank you, sweet Melisa <3
Momo
Love to you today, and every day.
Jana A
Back at ya.
Momo
Love to you today, and every day.
Momo
Love to you today, and every day.
Jana A
Back at ya.
Tabatha
Much love and comfort to you today. <3
Jana A
Thank you <3
Tabatha
Much love and comfort to you today. <3
Jana A
Thank you <3
Andrea B.
Such beautiful words, friend. Sending you loads of love and wishing Charlie a happy birthday with my whole heart.
Jana A
Thank you, Andrea.
Andrea B.
Such beautiful words, friend. Sending you loads of love and wishing Charlie a happy birthday with my whole heart.
Jana A
Thank you, Andrea.
Linda Sheridan
Continue shining your light and Charlie’s light to help others!!
Goddess speed
Love and lights and angels.
Linda Sheridan aka fellow lightworker
Jana A
Thank you. I had to go look up lightworker… that’s a new term for me, but yes? I think that fits.
I appreciate you reading and commenting. <3
Linda Sheridan
Continue shining your light and Charlie’s light to help others!!
Goddess speed
Love and lights and angels.
Linda Sheridan aka fellow lightworker
Jana A
Thank you. I had to go look up lightworker… that’s a new term for me, but yes? I think that fits.
I appreciate you reading and commenting. <3
Lisa
Even through the sad you shine love and light. Sending you extra hugs today. xo
Jana A
Thank you, Lisa xo
Lisa
Even through the sad you shine love and light. Sending you extra hugs today. xo
Jana A
Thank you, Lisa xo
anna whiston-donaldson
Happy Birthday in Heaven, Charlie!
Jana A
Thank you, Anna. Chocolate cake all around up there today! XO
anna whiston-donaldson
Happy Birthday in Heaven, Charlie!
Jana A
Thank you, Anna. Chocolate cake all around up there today! XO
Sara
This: “there are long stretches of hours when the hole in my heart feels plugged up and dare I say, whole. And then . . .” and then so many things remind, some expected, some so unexpected. Those grieving parents, I’m one, and even at eight years, I look ahead sometimes to people you who have done this longer. Cheers, Charlie.
Jana A
Thank you, Sara… I look to those who are 20-30-60 years into this. It truly is a club. Xo
Sara
This: “there are long stretches of hours when the hole in my heart feels plugged up and dare I say, whole. And then . . .” and then so many things remind, some expected, some so unexpected. Those grieving parents, I’m one, and even at eight years, I look ahead sometimes to people you who have done this longer. Cheers, Charlie.
Jana A
Thank you, Sara… I look to those who are 20-30-60 years into this. It truly is a club. Xo
Crys
I wish I could have met him and that I could be there with you to give you a hug and share a piece of cake. I’m so glad you share your memories of Charlie with us.
Crys
I wish I could have met him and that I could be there with you to give you a hug and share a piece of cake. I’m so glad you share your memories of Charlie with us.
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