Scene: Saturday night, master bathroom. Henry’s in the shower. Mom (me) is flat-ironing her hair.
Henry: Where are you going?
Mom: Date night. I gotta look pretty.
Henry: Are you going out with a boy other than Dad?
Mom: (shocked and trying not to giggle) No baby, I’m going out with your dad. He would be mad if I went out with another boy. Just like I would be mad if he went out on a date with another girl.
Henry: But he does go out on dates.
Mom: Really? How do you know?
Henry: Because I’m his wingman.
Mom: What does that mean? And are you for real?
Henry: It means I’m in charge of him. And no, I’m just kidding. But I am his wingman.